As a new writer (even has an old hand) you will run into all kinds of opinions about the writing profession. Some will be supportive and even wowed by your dream. Others will be, well not so supportive. They will say irksome things that you will later use in a story and kill that annoying character off just because you can. And No you won’t care that it’s passive aggressive AF. You will laugh like a mad scientist as you write the gruesome scene. Okay, so I’m maybe a little bitter but what writer isn’t?
It’s difficult to share your hopes and dreams, to open up and place yourself in a vulnerable spot. Especially when the person you open up too shit’s all over it. It’s not a good feeling, not at all. You tell yourself they only mean well, they worry about me making a living. That maybe true, but a true friend doesn’t shit on your dreams, a true friend makes sure you are happy and prepared for the journey ahead.
I am a 36-year-old women and I still have a hard time opening up to people because when I have all I got for my effort was negative feed back in the disguise of friendship. But I have learned that I don’t have to keep those naysayers around nor do I have to listen or take their negative crap. It’s a hard lesson to learn, one that took lots of failing to do what was best for myself.
So here’s what I wish that non writers would stop saying to us writers.
- You’ll never make a living as a writer.
- Writing is so easy.
- What’s your real job?
- If I had free time I’d write too.
- Writing, that sounds really boring.
- Can I be in your story.
- You should write a story about me.
- I really want to read your work, then never reads it or does read it and doesn’t give any feed back.
- It’s alright for a first draft.
- What do you do with all your free time.
Saying any of those 10 things or anything along those is just rude. So if any non writers are reading this. Please don’t say those things. Us writers hear this kind of crap a lot and we are all sick of it. It’s not okay to be this oblivious to the feelings of others. After all if we wrote about you in a negative way you’d be really pissed off right?
Depending on my mood is how I respond to people.
- Plenty of writers make a living as a writer. And I’m not in it for some huge payout, thought that would be nice, I do it because I love it because the voices in my head won’t shut up until I do.
- Fuck no it’s not easy! It can be so frustrating. Research is a bitch, writing out outlines sucks, Setting up my plot board is a pain in the ass. Facing the blank page is like looking into the abyss, it looks back! But I love the challenge of it so I keep coming back.
- My real job? Do you mean what I do to pay the bills because you don’t think that I can make a living as a writer? Do you think I’m going to say unemployed, or that I work in some dead-end job. And what if I do, so what. It has nothing to do with that fact that I am a writer, a blogger, or a copy writer or if all I’m writing is reviews on Yelp. Don’t be an ass!
- Free time! What free time?! Because I don’t have any free time. I still have a home to take care of, a husband, a family, errands that need to get done. And yet I still find the time to write. But you know what sometimes I don’t find the time to write. Or I have to make the time, by getting up very early or staying up very late. You don’t write because you don’t really want too.
- Writing, boring. Nope doesn’t compute. Let me guess you think reading is boring too. why the fuck are we friends?
- Can you be in my story? FUCK NO.
- Write a story about you, umm no.
- Don’t ask if you really don’t care. It’s okay, I don’t ask about your kids because I don’t care. there we have saved each other so much time.
- WTF do you mean it’s okay for a first draft?!
- What free time? What is this free time you speak of?
Okay so that’s a lot more bitchy than my responses need to be but I guess I am just in a bitchy mood. Most of the time I don’t say anything that mean to most people. But by Goddess it would be nice to once in awhile.
As for you non writers please refrain some saying such stupid things. Instead say something like this.
- So what are you working on? (Take an interest)
- Have you been able to write?
- What books have you been reading?
- Wow writing is so intents, I don’t know how you do it. You rock!
- Keep writing! You can do it!
- Would you like a coffee/ tea?
- You go back to writing, I’ll wash the dishes.
Encourage the writer in your life! Tell them they can do it no matter what. Even if they are only doing it has a hobby. It’s still hard. So be kind. You may just be encouraging the next Stephen King.
That’s the whole reason I started this blog. To help encourage those that beginning writers. Because like you noobs, I was a noob too. And man did I suck, but I have a drive, a need to tell stories and I did. I was lucky though I had a lot of friends that kept me going. It’s my hope that this blog will help to keep you going as well.
Fellow writers, in the comments tell me what someone has said to you about being a writer negative and positive alike. I always look forward to hearing from the readers. And I will comment back, but please forgive me if there’s a delay in my response.