When I fist left the work force it was not my intent to be gone for long. I thought I would take a little time and explore higher education. I wanted to figure out what path I would go down next. It didn’t work out that way.
When I fist left the work force it was not my intent to be gone for long. I thought I would take a little time and explore higher education. I wanted to figure out what path I would go down next. It didn’t work out that way. Going back to school wasn’t something that I could afford even with financial aid. Only having a High School diploma and not much work experience was a huge hindrance in finding my next job. But I got lucky and inherited family money. So I was able to stay home and care for my elderly grandmother. At that time her health was dwindling and she needed a lot of care. I was now in a position to care for her and not worry about the bills, so I took care of her.
I thought it would be for about a year at the most. Then I would go back to school or go back to work. But I ended up caring for her for six years. Part of that time with her living with me. This had become way more than a full-time job. I was a care giver, a cook, a made, a nurse, and a driver. I managed her health care and her diet. I was the one that made the doctors appointments and drove her to them. I went into the appointments with her because she had become so hard of hearing that she needed the help. And since I as the only one managing her medication I needed to know what she was on and why.
I was the one that took care of everything. This wasn’t some 9 to 5 job that you clock out of and get weekends off. This is 24/7 with no breaks and no pay.
It has been difficult. As hard as it is to care for another human being it’s even harder to care for an elderly person with health issues and mental health issues as well. I love my grandmother. I have some wonderful memories of her. We have laughed and loved one another. She has been there for me my whole life. And she was there to see me married.
But there has always been an underlying streak of “not okay” with her. I didn’t understand when I was a child. I just thought it was normal. But as an adult I know better. I can see that she’s been suffering from depression and anxiety all her life. My mother and Aunt tell me that when they were kids they remember her always taking over the counter pills to help her relax. This was the 60’s when such over the counter medications were available. Later the FDA would pull most of these kinds of drugs from the market because of addiction and harmful side effects due to long-term use. My family and myself suspect that she may be bipolar for something long that line of disorder.
She has good days and bad days. Days when she is happy and funny. And then there are days when she is just down right mean and hurtful. Days when she is depressed. Sometimes I can help her through it and then there are times when I can’t do anything for her. I can only step back and make sure she is getting the proper care.
After doing this mostly on my own I am now employed by IHCP to care for her. It’s a huge help to me to be paid to care for her. Now I don’t have to stress about how I would continue to care for her and hold down a job at the same time. Plus I have also been hired by a place called Visiting Angels Elderly Care. It’s just like what I do for my grandmother but in someone else’s home. I hope this VA place will work out but if not I still have my grandmother to care for and if I need too I can take on another client with IHCP. But I don’t thing I will need to as of yet.
In line with my good news my husband also found work with our local school district. Its only part-time right now but we hope that he will get more hours come the new school year after the summer break.
It’s hard work but worth while. Its low pay but I feel that I’m contributing to my community.
So if you know an IN HOME CARE GIVER or a NURSE or any one in this field please be kind to them and say thank you for the work they do. It’s not easy and can be very stressful.
Well it seems that just as the shit is about to hit the fan something finally comes along. My husband got a job and I’ll in the process of becoming my grandmothers In Home Care Giver. Just as I though I would have to shut off the internet and maybe not pay the gas company lo and behold! Paying jobs!
This last year has been just one kick in the pants after another. But we go through it. I have no idea how. All I know is that we wouldn’t have been able too without the support of our friends and family.
We are not “out of the woods” so to speak. But its a start and in the right direction… to making money and paying bills with that money. Because I like watching Netflix and taking hot showers. What do I mean we’re not “out of the woods,” well the job my husband got is with our local school district. May, this month, is the last school month of the school year. So that leaves us wondering if he’ll get a summer school job or will we be trying to live off of my part-time earnings. Because I wont be making much.
This has helped to both relieve my anxiety and cause it. FML
I guess I’ll relax a little more when I’m officially working and getting that pay check. Until then it’s not really in my nature to chill out. I’m a worry wort. It’s what I do.
Writing has not been as forth coming as I had hoped but I’ve been very busy outside the home so no real-time to devote to it. It’s frustrating to say the least, but I know I am not the only one out there that feels this way.
Writing has not been as forth coming as I had hoped but I’ve been very busy outside the home so no real-time to devote to it. It’s frustrating to say the least, but I know I am not the only one out there that feels this way. It happens some times. I know I will find the time or I guess I could say that I will make the time to write.
Life has been different for me this last year. After all I go married and we moved in together. Wow it’s been wonderful co-habiting, I love that I have someone to cook for, I often cook way to much for just myself, so its awesome to have another person here eating and loving the food I make. I love to cook and to bake but it’s not so much fun with no one to share it with. Now I have that in spades.
I must say its been an easy merge. I think it helped that we have been together for so long before we got married. And that we are both sure of each other and of ourselves. But it hasn’t been all sunshine and lollipops. Of course not, we’re human and prone to be cranky at times. But we work through it and get past it, usually pretty quickly.
Life as thrown us a curve ball and we are both without income at the moment. It’s scary and stressful. We have help and are doing what we can to get by. Its hard on us and there are times when we become angry, stressed, sad, scared, or even depressed. At these times he will find the strength to pick me up and I do the same for him.
At times like these I like to channel my stress and negative emotions into my writing. I need to write to do that and I just haven’t been for the reasons I stated above.
There are times I feel like screaming and there are times I do. I know we will make it through this rough patch.
Last month I did work on some poems and got them edited. Just need to go back in and fix some little things. Then I will start on the next batch of poems I have waiting to be edited.
I keep wondering if I should post a poem or two here. Not sure if I want to put my work out there like that. I would like to publish and I don’t think you can if you posted it before in a blog or some such. I don’t know maybe some publication don’t mind.
Any way, I will be changing my last name to my husbands officially. This makes us both happy and excited.
While I’ve been away I’ve been writing poetry. I’ve written severely poems that are still in rough form. But I feel good to have put words down on the page and started this new project. I’m a confessional poet, meaning that I write about my own life. I touch on love, heartbreak, depression, sex. Pretty much anything.
If you’re a Poet what kind of poetry are you writing? What poetry do you love to read?
Poetry for some is this very difficult thing that you feel you just don’t get. What is the poet trying to say? What is this metaphor getting at? Why doesn’t this rhyme?
There are lots of ways to discover poetry. Take a class at your local community college, or hit up your library and ask for some books on Poetry and literature. Read Poetry and get to know the Masters. Keep it simple and don’t worry about what every line might mean.
This is what I tell people when they want to come into this world of poetic literature.
And if you want to write poetry go for it. You don’t have to write the words best poem in one go. Keep it simple.
What is it that you want your poem to convey? Once you know what you want to write about start with one word and go from there. For example lets use Love are our word.
What feelings does Love conger up for you? Joy, giddiness or is it more along the line of sorrow and heartache.
Using the emotions that fit for you develop them into something that the reader can feel or see in their mind’s eye. You are the one showing the reader what to feel here. So make it intense let your words punch out at the reader. Or build it softly for a more quiet effect.
Of course if all differs depending on the subject you’re writing about. If you’re writing about nature then paint a picture vividly for the reader. Use lots of descriptive words. Use all five senses to invoke memory in your readers.
This is all very simple advice of course but I hope its helpful for those starting out no matter if you’re just a reader of poetry or the beginning poet.
I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. Me and my husband had a great first Christmas. We spent Christmas eve with his family and Christmas day with by ourselves. It was lovely.
In a few days it will be the new year and my mind turns to all the new things that will come along. I’ve been over come with an urge to purge the old to make room for the new. Just the other day we donated clothing and an old TV. It felt good to have gotten ride of things no longer needed. I have a lot of stuff to go through still. After years of living in one place I sure did accumulate a lot of junk.
Any way I’ve been thinking about writing, not doing it just thinking about it. I’m hoping this new year I’ll focus more on my writing.
Christmas is fast approaching and I’ve been shopping and wrapping gifts like a crazy women. This time of year is busy for all. So I’ve shifted my focus on to family and I have not been writing for some time now. I miss it of course but I have been doing a lot of reading for the joy of it and I feel good about that. I’m about to start a book that I once received as a Christmas gift. It’s become my tradition to read this book this time of the year. The Red Tent by Anita Diamant. This isn’t my usual kind of genre but I really enjoyed the book and I still do. It makes a great gift to those Book Nerds that love stories about the lives of biblical women.
There you got a gift idea out of me! I almost always recommend books for gifts, even for children. Yeah it may not be cool but books have a way of staying with you forever.
I really hope to stick to blogging more come the new year. Feel free to massage me and remind me of that if you like.
My first anniversary is coming up just after Christmas. We are both excited for it and have no idea what to do to celebrate it LOL. We may take a trip or just go out to a nice dinner. I’m sure whatever we do will be wonderful.
image used in post are found through google image search.
It’s been some time since I’ve sat down and worked on any of my writing projects including this blog. Life, right it gets in the way. But no matter the reason it can be difficult getting back into the habit of writing. Not always, sometimes the story or poem just flow right out onto the page. Its wonderful when it happens. We all know it’s frustrating when we come back to a project and we no longer have a feel for it.
It can be very upsetting at times and if you let it get to you it only makes it harder. So just know that it happens, and it will happen again. Its awesome if you can devote some time every day to writing, but not all of us can do it or want to do it. I have other passions that I like to do and sometimes I just don’t have the time to write every day, or even every other day. And you know what, it’s okay. It’s okay to write when you feel like it.
I feel like there’s a lot of pressure on beginers. To be a good writer you must write every day. If you are going to turn this passion into a paying gig then yeah you really do need to spend some time honing your craft. But if this is just something you like doing for yourself then don’t worry about it. Do it the way you want too. Take long breaks, read some books, watch some movies, spend time with friends, play with your cat. Live your life and when you come back to your writing you’ll find that you have more to say.
I would love to be able to write every day. Sometimes I can make the time for it and sometimes not so much. But that’s okay. And it’s not to say that I’ve giving up on my dream of becoming a published author someday. Far from it, but I know that just to get a story written and read by a friend is enough for me. I hope to finish enough short stories to put together for a book. Maybe publish it on Amazon. It would be cool to do, to put my work out there. But I feel no rush to do it. It’s important to me that each one be the best I can do and properly edited. This is no small task so yeah going to take a while. But I am okay with that.